I am very devoted to my work. I work when I don’t have to. Work is always on my mind. It just seems natural.
The work that I do, I am kind of a one man show. I have several people that I depend on to help me make my obligations, but the end result that I supply to my clients, I am the go-to guy. Now, I am not tooting my own horn here. There are lots of people out there like me, and they are in similar situations. I guess what I am saying is, there’s not anybody that can just come in and take over seamlessly where I left off with out a lot of time being invested. And time is something we don’t have.
When Mason died, my boss told me to take all the time I needed. While that was a very kind gesture, it wasn’t really practical. Mason died on April 7th, 2012. I had a MAJOR project kicking off on April 12th. It would last for a planned 36 days.
We buried Mason on April 12th. I took the 13th, a Friday, no less, off to gather my things and head out of town to go back to work.
On Saturday, I returned to work. While in one regard it was a blessing, I had lots to do and kept my mind busy. On the other hand, it was a HUGE mistake. I should have been home and letting things sink in. In hindsight, I would have asked my boss to bring someone else in. I could spend a day or two with them and get them the basics down and they could have limped through it. I really wasn’t doing them any good anyway.
After the project was complete, I took 2 weeks off to be at home. It just wasn’t the same. My wife was already somewhat ‘used’ to being at home without Mason. I was just starting that phase. I was jealous that she was farther along in the grieving process than I was.