Anniversaries Suck

They told us that there would be a year of ‘firsts’.

First Easter without Mason

First Vacation without Mason

First Birthday without Mason

First Christmas without Mason

First New Year without Mason

First October 12, 2012 without Mason

I could go on and on.

Today makes 6 months since we buried my little man.  Exactly 6 months ago, right now, I’m in the car headed over to the funeral home to tell my best friend, my little shadow, goodbye.

It’s hard to imagine it.  Seems like just yesterday, he was here with me.  Now it’s been six months since I’ve seen his face.  I know it’s weird, but the smell of things in his room have faded.  I used to be able to sniff his pillow and pick up his scent.  But no more.  Everything is fading.  The other day, for a brief moment, I couldn’t remember what his voice sounded like.  It’s not the first time it’s happened, but it’s scary every time.  I panicked.  I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown.  Then it came back to me and I was able to regain my composure.  What little I have left, anyway.

I sure miss you, son.  I Love You, Little Buddy!!!!


2 thoughts on “Anniversaries Suck

  1. I know exactly what you mean. It’s been 21 weeks for us. Sadness every second.

    Our 6 month mark will be Thanksgiving Day. This is the first Thanksgiving that we’ll ever have without him. I can’t imagine how we’ll get through the day. I always loved preparing the meal, setting a beautiful table, the entire event because it was so appreciated and we were always together. Now …I can’t even bear to think about it.

    • It’s going to be hard, no doubt. Sometimes, I wish there were some magic words that would ease the pain, but then I realize I don’t want to ease the pain. The pain I feel is Mason. The pain is my reminder. I’ll carry this load forever.

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